Parents Are Theologians

If you're a parent (or a grandparent), you're a theologian.  You may not realize it, but you are.  When your child (or grandchild) asks you questions like, "Who made that bug?" or "Who made God?" or "Where is God?" or "Why can't we see God?" or "Where do people go when they die?", you are dealing with theology.  Your answers to those kinds of questions are always theological answers.  In that moment, you are a theologian; and your child is looking to you as a theologian.

So the question for us parents is not, "Are we theologians?" but "What kind of theologians will we be - good or bad?"  What kind of theology will we teach our children - good or bad?  You see, we parents are all theologians, but it matters greatly (to us and to our children) what kind of theologians we prove to be. 

Christian parents, be good theologians! Know God. Know His Word. Read good theological books. And don't shy away from your role as a theologian in the life of your child.    

Keller on the Sacrifice of Parenting

Tim Keller on the sacrifice required by parenting (and the disastrous consequences for children whose parents do not make the sacrifice):

When you have children, they're in a state of dependency. They have so many needs; they can't stand on their own. And they will not just grow out of their dependence automatically. The only way your children will grow beyond their dependency into self-sufficient adults is for you to essentially abandon your own independence for twenty years or so. When they are young, for example, you've got to read to them and read to them - otherwise, they won't develop intellectually. Lots of their books will be boring to you. And you have to listen to your children, and keep listening as they say all kinds of things that make for less than scintillating conversation.

And then there's dressing, bathing, feeding, and teaching them to do these things for themselves. Furthermore, children need about five affirmations for every criticism they hear from you. Unless you sacrifice much of your freedom and good bit of your time, your children will not grow up healthy and equipped to function. Unfortunately, there are plenty of parents who just won't do it. They won't disrupt their lives that much; they won't pour themselves into their children. They won't make the sacrifice. And their kids grow up physically, but they're still children emotionally - needy, vulnerable, and dependent. Think about it this way: You can make the sacrifice, or they're going to make the sacrifice. It's them or you. Either you suffer temporarily and in a redemptive way, or they're going to suffer tragically, in a wasteful and destructive way. It's at least partly up to you.

On Provoking Your Children

A great post here on ways parents can provoke their children to anger (in disobedience to Ephesians 6:4). These are worth pondering.

HT: Vitamin Z

A Little Mirror of My Own Depravity

Lessons in Parenting, Lessons in Theology
M. Justin Wainscott, 2011

How humbling it is
to see my own depravity -
my own stubborn defiance
toward You, O Lord -
reflected back to me
in the defiance of my child.
What patience You have!
And what fools we are!

Truly, how foolish of me
to think that You have anything
but my best interests at heart.
All my rebellion is but
ignorance and unbelief -
ignorance of Your wisdom
and a lack of trust
in Your steadfast goodness.

John Angell James on the Weighty Task of Parenting

Recollect what a solemn thing it is to be a parent, and what a weighty responsibility attaches to those who have the immortal souls of their children committed to their care!

-- John Angell James, "Religious Education of Children, a New Year's Address to Parents and Ministers" (1846)