A Hymn for Afflicted and Doubting Hearts

Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart
John Newton, 1725-1807

Based on Isaiah 41:10, 14; 54:4-11

Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
Hear what Christ the Savior says;
Every word should joy impart,
Change thy morning into praise.
Yes, he speaks, and speaks to thee,
May he help thee to believe;
Then thou presently wilt see
Thou hast little cause to grieve:

Fear thou not, nor be ashamed;
All thy sorrows soon shall end,
I, who heaven and earth have framed,
Am thy Husband and thy Friend;
I, the High and Holy One,
Israel's God by all adored,
As thy Savior will be known,
Thy Redeemer and thy Lord.

For a moment I withdrew,
And thy heart was filled with pain;
But my mercies I'll renew;
Thou shalt soon rejoice again;
Though I seem to hide my face,
Very soon my wrath shall cease;
'Tis but for a moment's space,
Ending in eternal peace.

Though afflicted, tempest-tossed,
Comfortless awhile thou art,
Do not think thou canst be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart;
All thy wastes I will repair;
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew;
And in thee it shall apear
What the God of love can do.

From Minister to Atheist

I heard a sad, sad story earlier this week on NPR about a Methodist minister who says she has lost her faith in God and is now an atheist.  While I can appreciate her honesty with herself, it is sad that she kept this news from her church for so long.  I don't pretend to understand the struggle she was going through, so I am willing to grant her patience as she wrestled with doubts.  But to continue preaching and pastoring during this season of doubt was unwise at best and dishonest at worst.  To continue doing so after her faith was completely gone, however, was just plain wrong.  And to make matters worse, it doesn't sound like she was treated very Christianly by church members and church officials once the news finally broke, which makes this story sad for other reasons.  Saddest of all, of course, is that this is a story of a woman who no longer believes in the saving grace of Jesus Christ revealed in the gospel that she once proclaimed.       

Here are a few excerpts:

Teresa MacBain has a secret, one she's terrified to reveal.

"I'm currently an active pastor and I'm also an atheist," she says. "I live a double life. I feel pretty good on Monday, but by Thursday — when Sunday's right around the corner — I start having stomachaches, headaches, just knowing that I got to stand up and say things that I no longer believe in and portray myself in a way that's totally false."

. . . . . . . . . .

On March 26, at the American Atheists' convention in Bethesda, MacBain seems almost giddy. The day before, she decided she would go before the conference's 1,500 or so nonbelievers and announce that she is officially an atheist.

"My name is Teresa," she begins. "I'm a pastor currently serving a Methodist church — at least up to this point" — the audience laughs — "and I am an atheist."

Hundreds of people jump to their feet. They hoot and clap for more than a minute. MacBain then apologizes to them for being, as she put it, "a hater."

"I was the one on the right track, and you were the ones that were going to burn in hell," she says. "And I'm happy to say as I stand before you right now, I'm going to burn with you."

To read the entire story, click here.

A Hymn for Doubting Hearts

Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart
John Newton, 1725-1807

Based on Isaiah 41:10, 14; 54:4-11

Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
Hear what Christ the Savior says;
Every word should joy impart,
Change thy morning into praise.
Yes, he speaks, and speaks to thee,
May he help thee to believe;
Then thou presently wilt see
Thou hast little cause to grieve:

Fear thou not, nor be ashamed;
All thy sorrows soon shall end,
I, who heaven and earth have framed,
Am thy Husband and thy Friend;
I, the High and Holy One,
Israel's God by all adored,
As thy Savior will be known,
Thy Redeemer and thy Lord.

For a moment I withdrew,
And thy heart was filled with pain;
But my mercies I'll renew;
Thou shalt soon rejoice again;
Though I seem to hide my face,
Very soon my wrath shall cease;
'Tis but for a moment's space,
Ending in eternal peace.

Though afflicted, tempest-tossed,
Comfortless awhile thou art,
Do not think thou canst be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart;
All thy wastes I will repair;
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew;
And in thee it shall apear
What the God of love can do.

Grace Is More Abundant and Stronger than Sin

If you're tempted to doubt the grace of God, then hear this reminder from Luther:

Although sin does still remain in our flesh, and we daily fall and offend, yet grace is more abundant and stronger than sin. The mercy and truth of the Lord reigns over us forever. Wherefore sin cannot terrify us, nor make us doubtful of the grace of God, which is in us. So long as Christ, the vanquisher of sin, is at the right hand of God, making intercession for us, we cannot doubt of the grace and favor of God towards us.

--Martin Luther, Commentary on Galatians

Dealing with Doubt

If you ever struggle with besetting sins that cause your heart to doubt (and who doesn't?), Jerry Bridges offers helpful counsel for your soul in this excerpt from The Gospel for Real Life:

Accompanying our sincere desire to obey God will be a heightened sensitivity to our indwelling sin. Often it is our increased awareness of sin that causes us to doubt our salvation or to give Satan an inroad into our minds to suggest that "a Christian wouldn't sin like you do." But think about that accusation for a moment. Satan would certainly not suggest such a thought to an unbeliever. Rather, he wants unbelievers to be complacent about their sin. So turn the tables on Satan and your own internal doubts. Ask yourself if those accusations or doubts are not really a sign that you do trust Christ.

There is a story about Martin Luther, perhaps apocryphal, that in a dream he saw Satan standing before him with a long list of his sins. Luther supposedly asked, "Is that all of them?" to which Satan replied, "No, there are many more." Luther then said, "Put them all down and then write across the whole lot of them, 'The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses me from all sin.'" Whether this story is true or not, it teaches us how to deal with doubts caused by our sin. We are not to deny or minimize them. Instead we should take them to the cross and see Jesus bearing those sins for us. That very act will motivate us to deal with those sins that are causing our doubts.